Wisdom. Waiting. Faith

Three words. Three excruciating words. I don’t think it is within human capacity to acquire, execute and maintain these three words. I am learning them the hard way.

“The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot” Ps. 16:5

7 years ago, I waited for God to place me in my ‘lot’ – a school and a part-time job to sustain myself. I waited with anticipation and eagerness to what the outcome of my applications may be. After 7 months of waiting, He answered. I remembered writing a testimony about it on social media so that other people may know God’s faithfulness and goodness. It was a moment I will never forget. God told me to wait. I waited. He showed up.

7 years later, after finishing my program, getting my degree, passing my exams, acquiring my credentials and working under two employers, God calls me to wait again – to wait on His next step for me, beyond the career. As much as I would like to say that to wait this time around is a piece of cake, it is absolutely not. To be honest, my current waiting period is on a completely different level. This time, it required careful wisdom and audacious faith. For example, compared to 7 years ago, my current waiting period has no clear-cut timeline. I await no particular applications of any sort. God placed me in a room with hardly any idea on what I should expect and where I should go. Every ounce of curiosity – to browse other job opportunities, seek higher learning, commit to another program cycle – all came back with a wise revelation of STOP and WAIT. All red and yellow, no green. I bargained with God over and over again. But wisdom keeps coming back to guide me. My sense of purpose and fulfillment is challenged. Most significantly, my faith is challenged, and I weep in this waiting room because I have no clue how long this will be.

I really wish I can say when my testimony blog will come out. But at this moment, I have no other choice but to continue to look to God as He guides me through these three words: Wisdom. Waiting. Faith.